This is a question that has been bothering me since I remember myself.
A moment captured by me of the amazing Luna Duna during a workshop.
As a child I really loved to paint and draw, take photos when I travel, write some fantasy stories and spill my point of view in words. But already back then, I didn’t want people to tell me what I should do in my art, I didn’t want any routine, so I always wondered if and how I could ever make money out of my art. As a people pleaser, I didn’t want to only please people through my art, I wanted to also express myself and to make people see the world a little bit differently, through my eyes.
In my culture there is a lot of art, but it is almost never the main income of people and it is not supported by the government in a satisfying way. So naturally, all of the people that surrounded me always doubted my success of making enough money for a living out of my art, including myself. But there’s a rebel in me, that just couldn’t let it go and still can’t.
all of the people that surrounded me always doubted my success of making enough money for a living out of my art, including myself.
During my youth, I had this fantasy of living as an artist, selling my photography from around the world, and maybe writing a book someday, but I actually decided to go the the science class in high school, I was too scared to learn art, and I thought it would be a waste of my time, because to have a job in this world you need to learn the “normal” things, plus, I had all of my friends there so it was convenient. I was too afraid to get out of my comfort zone. Later on, something had changed in me, and I decided to learn film in college, even though it was far from my house, far from everything I knew, and a very uncertain path of life. I think my travel to South America supported my change of being more brave with my choices, beca
use I chose to travel alone and it was the first time ever of doing something like that and it was amazing and challenging as everything in life. But the journey has just begun.
In film school, it was all very fun and easy and flowing. It felt like the coziest place of creation. I was so motivated and had tons of passion, but when it was the time of my final project, tons of fears started to kick in and take over me, and all of the questions of “what am I going to do when I’ll grow up?” started to paralyze me and changed the motive of the creation, and all of my inspiration had left me. It was basically tons of inner demons to deal with. Since that moment my journey into finding my most right and mature relationship with art has clearly begun and sometimes it feels like a never ending process.
A nostalgic photo of me as a director from behind the scenes of "Wild Animals", my final film project from college. To watch the film: https://youtu.be/qBnviYvJLaA
my journey into finding my most right and mature relationship with art has clearly begun and sometimes it feels like a never ending process.
Art as a profession
I was starting to explore which kind of art suits me as a profession for the long term for making a normal income, as a film school graduate. I was wondering, is it editing short films? Is it creating dance films? Is it creating marketing videos for dancers? Is it creating marketing videos for workshop facilitators and some unique festivals (As a one who loves to dance this was a significant influence over my choices)? Or is it creating wedding movies? I knew for sure that I can’t create normal marketing and commercial videos or even photography, because it is not from my heart, and not a language I know. So that wasn’t an option.
I was walking down this road of trying out a lot of directions. I did have fun and still do have fun working with people and capturing their emotional journey, both in videography and photography, there’s no doubt in that. But it didn’t and still doesn’t feel like my main path in life. Not for this moment at least, and not for the long term. And that was hard to admit.I felt like I’m lost, and like I’m proving that I can’t get enough money out of my art as I was afraid. But the thing is… I knew, I definitely knew, that it’s not true. I just need to keep listening to my heart, to my gut, to what’s right for me without thinking too much about the response of others.
So recently I decided to change the question in my mind into a fact - “I CAN make a living out of my art and talent”. This is my new mantra that I hanged on my wall just above my desktop. Deep inside, I know I need to keep walking the road of exploring nature with my camera and sharing about my journey alongside with writing this blog and filming pieces of my experiences.
I CAN make a living out of my art and talent. This is my new mantra that I hanged on my wall just above my desktop.
One of the photos that reminds me to always follow my dreams, as making wildlife photography was one of my wildest dreams.
These days, selling my photography has become something really important to me, and I’m all in about that. I’m gonna let you guys know how it goes as long as the time passes. It’s been two years since I decided to become a digital nomad and create a system that would work with what I do, and I’m still exploring, but I gotta tell you that I’ve already sold a few products of my photography, and it felt great! Like I’m on the right path indeed. I am still exploring all of the technicality of things, all of the logistics, still refining things. But it is exciting!
I am determined to have a different relationship with myself, with my art, and with my response to my surroundings from now on. I’m curious to read a post of mine two years from now!
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